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The fast draft was a good way to get all of the information down on paper because there was with all the research that was done. Most of the information was not from one's own mind but from the research that was done, the citations were not to be included and some it helped to just write everything down. it was rough and the flow of the paragraph was not there but since it was a fast draft of the paper that was okay.
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My peer commented on what they liked about my second draft and so those where things that I knew I could not change, so I took the topics or sentences which they liked and made them tie into themselves to have a clear central topic. The grammatical corrections were all changed because I agreed that it did sound better that way and so the words were moved around. Some sentences were added to make an attempt to tie in the main topic of each paragraph to the overall thesis of the paper, also the main thesis of the paper was made clear by adding a sentence to the first paragraph. The topic was made clear because of Mr. Campbell's advice that he was not sure where I was going throughout the whole paper, so I had to make it clearer.